Part One: Harsh Speech
How can you tell a Dharma practitioner—someone who puts the Buddha’s teachings into use—from someone who studies Buddhism intellectually?
It’s often as simple as listening to them speak.
One of the first teachings we receive as Buddhists is how to avoid non-virtue—to shun negative thoughts and actions that will come back to bite us in the ass.
So there you go, the word “ass.” To most of us in English-speaking countries these days, the word ass is as un-alarming as saying butt or behind. When I grew up in the 1960’s, ass was a profanity that could send you to the principal’s office. Yes, really. So, although I use this word, it sets off a little alarm in me that it might not set off for a younger American. I pause and consider whether or not I want to use it. In Buddhism we say that we should avoid harsh words because if we use them we will then reap the karmic fruit of hearing unpleasant words in the future and have rough, difficult life circumstances in general.
But, clearly, whether we use the word ass or not is no big deal. Here, “ass” is not the best word to use as an example. What if I call someone an asshole? Why would I do so? Is it because I am mad at them? Anger is one of the core emotions that poison our lives. If I am using harsh angry words, they can function as weapons. So, our mind can be poisoned by anger and instead of stopping and shutting up and being careful not to act on that anger, I have gone one step further and let it leak into my speech, potentially arousing painful emotions in the minds of the hearer as well. Without a doubt, anger creates a negative trajectory for one’s consciousness, and karmic repercussions are inevitable.
Maybe I called that person an asshole because I wanted to be accepted by others. An example would be calling President Trump an asshole on my Facebook page. I know about 95% my Facebook friends are liberals opposed to Trump. Am I trying to be liked by calling him names? That plays into desire, another one of the three poisonous emotions.
Or, perhaps I am not thinking about how my speech reflects my mental state or how my words impact others. Yes, that comes from a mental/emotional poison as well, the poison of ignorance/stupidity.
Are people always putting you down? Do they say harsh rough things to you that disturb your mind? According to Dharma, you can look at that present situation and see what kind of karma you have accumulated in this life and/or prior life for the roots of that experience. The Main way to actively change that patterned experience is to watch every word that comes out of your mouth and avoid slandering people, no matter how deserving they may seem to be.
When I say it is easy to tell who is a real Buddhist practitioner versus someone who keeps the teachings in the realm of intellect, I mean they are people who refrain from blurting out every thought or feeling that comes into their minds. They either pause before responding to an emotion-laden question or have so perfected the habit of virtuous speaking that they automatically default to words that are true, gentle when possible, necessary, and break down divisions between people.
It’s good to reflect on our motivation for what we are about to say, especially when there is a lot of feeling behind it. To check in on what we feel in our body when we mentally rehearse saying those words.
For example, one time I called Donald Trump “the Evil Pumpkin.” I have called Hilary Clinton a “corporate shill.” If I say “Donald Trump is an Evil Pumpkin” to myself, I feel it high in my chest. There a sense of victory in saying that, and pride that I was smart enough to make up a new insult for him. But Dharma is not about being victorious, in fact there is a famous mind training slogan that says, “Gain and victory to others, loss and defeat to oneself.”
Of course, I can make political rationales for almost any non-virtuous words I utter or write. But, another famous mind training slogan states: “When the world is filled with evil, transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi (awakening.)” We can work to protect living beings from danger without undermining our store of merit by indulging in personal expressions based on desire, anger or ignorance.
Do I lapse at times? Yes! But, I am way different than I used to be.
Slowly, slowly, we can train our minds inwardly, and outwardly we will see the words and deeds that reflect the three poisonous states of mind diminish.
